I was asked last week to do an interview for BBC Radio Stoke about coping with failure. If you wish to listen to it I’ve loaded a copy onto my website here.
They were interested in my thoughts around failure specifically because of the GSCE results being out and the number of teenagers coming away disappointed with they results they get. I remember collecting mine at 16 it was the biggest event of my life and so important that I’d done well. Part of me is still ashamed at having failed French, and a little annoyed that my friend who is was in a lower set than me had passed hers at CSE grade 1 level and therefore considered to be O level equivalent. My exam must have been harder.
Yes, I passed everything else and yes I got grade A in my maths, plus in those days we took 11 subjects so it was still a great achievement. Yet it was so easy to focus on the one fail and not all the positives I’d achieved.
Its so easy to focus on the things we haven’t achieved and that can really erode our confidence especially if we label ourselves with the word ‘failure’.
Its also easy to compare ourselves less favourably with others. My friend would be the first to admit that her maths results were not as good as mine. She was off to study tourism so to be fair French was fairly important to her.
So next time you face failure, follow my 4 simple steps for turning failure into success:
- Acknowledgment – yes its happened. The result isn’t what you’d set out to do.
- Acceptance – accept that its actually OK that on this occasion you’ve not got it right. Also accept who you are. In my example it was OK to be good at maths and not languages.
- Congratulations – remind yourself of the positives, this might be learning for the future, it might be to thing back to ALL your great achievements in the past.
- Move on – it won’t help to dwell, start to think about your future, set your next goals and focus on those.
copyright Carolyn Trafford
Sometimes we all need a little support with our confidence. Reflections Coaching provides confidence booster sessions to help to take you from good to great. Give Carolyn a call on 07714 216388 for a free consultation and taster session to see how we can help you.
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