Fortunately when I ask myself this question, my list of enemies isn’t that long…
Yes of course I have annoyed a few people over the years, and of course there are a few people who I have annoyed. But to class as actual enemies there is probably only one.
According to the Oxford English dictionary:
enemy
Pronunciation: /ˈɛnəmi/
noun (plural enemies)
a person who is actively opposed or hostile to someone or something
…And its using that definition that allows me to identify not my worst enemy, but thankfully my only one. That person is often me. Why? Because its me that can be blamed for getting in the way of my plans and dreams. Its me that at times actually stops me doing things that I want to do.
I don’t set out to do it, but I keep doing it. Almost 18 months ago I was made redundant after 24 years. One of the small rewards I was going to give myself on receipt of my remuneration was a trip on the Norwegian Fjords. Its not the most expensive cruise, yet there is a little voice in my head asking me if I can justify spending the money right now. When is going to be a right time? I don’t know other than to say sometime before I die and I don’t know when that will be.
Another example is when I spy an opportunity for my business. Sometimes that little voice in my head pops up and says “I’m not ready yet” or “its a big step“. That’ll be Frankie. Frankie is the name I’ve given to my self doubt. Frankie is the part of me that lacks confidence.
Do you have a Frankie, talking you out the things you know you ought to be doing?
I’m sure you do, they’re hard to get rid of, although there are lots of things you can do to help manage them.
Acknowledge your lack of self belief. That’s why I named mine. He/she exists because they have a name.
Have a conversation with yourself – talk back to your Frankie. When you hear him/her talking you out of doing something , create a positive persona. If you need to give it a name. Its not crazy only you will know you do it – unless you go and announce it on your blog of course. Remind yourself exactly how good you are.
It sounds strange, I know, but it does get easier to do with time and practice. And very soon your positive persona will take over and your self belief and confidence will grow naturally.
I have a wealth of experience helping clients face up to their self belief and lack of confidence. If you would like help dealing with your “Frankie” why not get in touch with me for a free consultation. Who knows where it could lead?
2 Responses
Get that cruise booked girl! Like you say, you don’t know what’s around the corner tomorrow. My mantra is ‘No Regrets’ and if I’m undecided in a decision I ask myself if I would have any regrets if I did not take this opportunity now? Decisions are much easier that way! X
That’s really good advice San – perhaps I should choose you as a positive antidote to Frankie 😉