In the previous post I introduced the Reflections Coaching Change Curve ©2011. After the initial shock of finding out about the change that is affecting us, there are several stages that we go through where it is natural to feel some negativity, either within ourselves or towards others.
Denial
After experiencing the initial shock of the change, most of us will feel a sense of denial. Its those thoughts of “this isn’t really happening to me” or the belief that if we pretend that the change isn’t happening it really won’t affect us. There might also be feelings that the change won’t work and therefore there is no point in accepting the change. Reaching the acceptance stage can be really difficult when these negative vibes are buzzing around our heads.
Frustration
During this Frustration Stage we look for someone to blame. That might be ourseves, it might be someone else. Our thoughts will be along the lines of “If only I hadn’t…….” , “Why did she have to suggest that……..”. There may also be a belief that the change won’t work and we fall into the trap of looking for all the things that might go wrong rather on focussing on those that will go right.
Confusion
After frustration, confusion kicks in. Its common to spend time wondering what’s happening next and how its all going to work. You may start to seriously question why things are being done and why they’re being done a certain way.
You may find that after the initial shock a lot of time is spent going between the stages of denial, frustration and confusion and your journey might not be a linear one, until at some point you accept the change.
One response
[…] Everyone has been so lovely and supportive. No one has gone “there,there”, “It’ll all be OK”. They’ve said encouraging things like, “you’re so positive” and “you’ve got this“, apparently “cancer does stand a chance“. I’ve joined a support group, spoken to Macmillan and I’m getting a Macmillan Buddy, but I do feel I’m in a little bit of a bubble where this is not happening to me – and that’s definitely something they call denial. […]