Claiming Back My Life

I’ve been banging on a bit recently about returning to normal, new normals in fact. I’ve been thinking about how we adjust to new surroundings or circumstances. In a way accepting things for what they are.

Yet there are other times in our lives where we need to strive or aim for what we want and this can include our former normal.

I was in my early thirties when I found a love for walking the fells, and by my mid thrities had witnessed my first wild swim. I don’t mean a swim in the sea, but witnessed a group of adults strip to their undies and submerge themselves into a fell top lakeland tarn. They were probably 20 years older than me (my age now) and in their underwear but I admired their courage and sense of carefree spirit. I’ve wanted to do it ever since. I took my first wild swim in 2018 in Wastwater and followed this a year later at Three Shires Head – but then Covid stopped play. I walked daily but with no gym my fitness levels dropped. If that wasn’t enough Cancer stopped me in my tracks, 8 months ago.

I don’t know whether it was the lock down, or my cancer but I lost a lot of confidence to go out and tackle stuff.

I wouldn’t say walking the 11.5 miles of the Fairfield Horseshoe or the 873 m of Fairfield itself was an easy challenge when I did it in 2004, but the thought of doing it post treatment was more than daunting. In 2004 I was a gym regular, Body Pump fan and could squat for England. I’m walking fit now, 6miles a day, but although not flat the Peak District and Staffordshire Moorlands just don’t compare with the fells and mountains of Cumbria. And it was tough. We didn’t even set out to complete all of the horseshoe, just 3 tops on a smaller circuit. The weather was fine and it seemed silly not to do the whole walk. These days my feet suffer more with blisters and aches than they used to, and the last 2 miles were tortous, but the elation at completing something that didn’t seem possible was incredible.

And the buzz was extraordinary. Cancer somehow takes a piece of you mentally. Even when treatment is over it owns you. It’s my personal challenge to claim back my life.

The next day I headed to Deboke Water, a remote but generously sized tarn sited in the SW area of cumbria, exposed to the elements at a spot height of 223 m. Its a special place because of its isolation and because it takes a little effort to get there (not only is it miles from civilisation, you have a walk from the car too). It was awesome, I felt awesome, elated and full of achievement.

I haven’t felt this sense of achivement for some time, cancer no matter how treatable kind of knocks the wind out of your sails, but I am learning to strive again and seize the opportunities to challenge myself too. It is only this way that I will claim back my life.

Even without setbacks or illness we all have our own personal mountains to climb and I’m here to help. That’s my job.

Carolyn Trafford is a Creative Life Coach, supporting others in reaching their own goals in a creative way since 2010. Author of “Don’t Just Dream It – Achieve It!” (A great way to kickstart those goals). This interactive book is available from her online shop:  https://carolyntraffordart.ecwid.com/Dont-Just-Dream-It-Achieve-It-Book-p196854491) . She was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on the 20th September 2021 following her first routine screening with the NHS at 51.