Almost There

Here I am. Its been 11 weeks since my surgery. And apart from a lingering Covid cough and a general lack of fitness as I’ve not been to the gym in nearly 2 years – I feeling fighting fit.

Its been a long journey from the initial consultation in September when my diagnosis was delivered and if you’ve read my pevious blog posts you will know about all the biopsies and time sent waiting on test results. But now as my scars are healing and fading – it all seems like a distant dream (nightmare) of someone elses life. I get the odd boob twinge or a pulling sensation in my armpit scar where the lymph nodes were removed but this I understand and accept this is my new normal and I am beginning to adapt.

Today I start my radiotherapy with intrepedation. It promises to be straight forward but offers some after effects, possibly delayed, of fatigue, and sunburn type burns to the skin. I know its not going to hurt but I am concerned about the damage to the nerves that have started to heal and that it may set my recovery back a few weeks.

I need to avoid deodorant for the duration and at least until any burns have healed so I’m working from home again and not taking any coaching appointments. I may in fact remain in my pyjamas for two weeks.

What happens now? Once this treatment is done I’m officially cancer free, but I still have to take a hormone tablet every day which not only reduces the liklihood of cancer returning but serves as a daily reminder of the ordeal I’ve been through. My life has changed. Will I always think about what i’ve been through as I pop a tablet every morning. Will those feelings fade and it become a norm? Will I always carry the label of cancer victim? survivor? warrior?

Does it really matter after all I’m still here to moan and to ask the questions?

Carolyn Trafford is a Creative Life Coach, supporting others in reaching their own goals in a creative way sine 2010. Author of “Don’t Just Dream It – Achieve It!” (A great way to kickstart those goals). This interactive book is available from her online shop:  https://carolyntraffordart.ecwid.com/Dont-Just-Dream-It-Achieve-It-Book-p196854491) . She was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on the 20th September 2021 following her first routine screening with the NHS at 51.