When was the last time you set some goals just for you?
We often find ourselves in the pursuit of goals because they have been imposed on us by underlying negative beliefs. Typical examples include the words “should” and “must”. Examples could be:
- I can’t ask for help, it’s a weakness
- I won’t make any mistakes
- I should be the perfect partner
- I always have to be the best
- I must put others above myself
(Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)
When we set out to achieve goals that have been imposed on us, they become difficult to achieve, often with negative effects. Good goals should be evaluated when setting them. Here are two simple rules:
- Ensure your goal is valid. Will achieving your goal result in a true and positive outcome? If so, it is valid. If it is based on an imposed or false belief and worsen your imbalance or problems then it is invalid.
- Is your goal is ecologically sound? By this I mean will achieving your goal have any negative side-effects for you or those around you?
If you find that your goal is ecologically unsound and/or invalid, you don’t have to forget about it. It might just need a little fine tuning. Of course, you may also find that you don’t really want to achieve it and focus your attention on something you really want.
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